EDRG 3344 Memories Blog - Grandma

My grandma's death was the memory that made me cry. I just never thought that I would lose her, she had gotten sick before but always got well enough to go home. I remember it was a few days after Christmas that my grandma was taken to the hospital, all of my family went to visit her and see how she was doing. It hurt us so much to see her sicker than she had ever been. My grandma had a hernia in her stomach that affected her when she ate, she wouldn't and couldn't eat because every time she did she got sick. The doctors said that there was nothing that they could do about the hernia, because since she was older it would cause more damage than good if they removed it. My grandma was also developing dementia, and it was developing quickly. From the hospital she was moved to a nursing home. My brothers and I would visit my grandma after school and some after work, and my mom would visit her everyday and would spend hours there. I spent my twenty-first birthday with my mom and grandma, and that is when I got my last gift from her. My grandma was still getting worse and she was moved to the hospital again. It was hard to see her with tubes of medicine and food connected to her. The doctors would talk to my mom and we all knew that there wasn't anything more that could be done for her. Her dementia was also getting worse, most times she couldn't even remember who we were. When we would talk to her we would have to tell her who we were. Even though she had a hard time remembering who we were she started to talk about things that had happened a long time ago as if they were recent. She would also tell us that my grandpa had come to visit her and would tell her to get a red dress because he was going to take her on a trip. My grandpa had died before any grand kids were born about thirty years ago. Many times my whole family including my aunt, uncle, cousins and my two older brothers girlfriends would be at the hospital at the same time. This was about sixteen of us there at once, but the doctors never complained because they knew what was coming. She was getting much worse, she couldn't take any food, and the medication was not helping at all. After talking to my mom and her brother and sister it was decided that my grandma would be put into hospice care. When she was moved into hospice one of the people in charge talked to us and told us what would start happening to her. We knew what to expect but never thought it would happen so soon.
I still remember the day that she died. It was Friday March 6, the last day of school before spring break. After I got out of classes I had my brother drop me off at home before he went to work and waited for my mom to get home so we could go see my grandma. That day everyone was there including my brothers girlfriends, my great aunt, and a few others. It was getting really late so my parents decided to send all of us kids home, even though I was tired I had this strange feeling that I shouldn't leave. All of my brothers and cousins left and I stayed there with my parents, uncle and aunt, and I sat next to my mom by my grandmas bedside. I was kinda tired and falling asleep and I noticed that my grandmas breathing was changing. Next thing I know my mom grabbed my hand stood me up and pulled me closer to my grandma. My grandma was gone, she had passed away. I started crying so much, I loved my grandma and didn't know what I would do without her. We called everyone who had just left and told them what happened. All of my brothers had just gotten home when we called but the were back in about five minutes, even though the trip usually took twenty minutes. We told the nurses and they said she was gone, and they had to call the hospice people. When the hospice doctor got there they confirmed that my grandma had passed away. My grandma died on March 6 but since she was in hospice we had to wait for them to make the call so the official date of death is March 7. After the people from the mortuary took her we all went home, that night I cried myself to sleep. I was mad at myself when she died, I wished that I could have helped her, and I was mad at myself for not being their with her earlier that day because I went home first. I thought I should have been there for her like she was always there for me.
My brothers and I were extremely close to our grandma, she took care of use from the time we were six weeks old when my mom had to go back to work, till the time we were five and six before we started kinder. She raised all of us. I didn't have any sisters so my besides my mom my grandma was someone that I could always talk to and spend time with. Almost everyday when I was done with classes I would go to her house, and we would talk and watch Gilmore Girls and Little House on the Prairie, sometime when I watch those shows now I get sad. I still cry sometimes, my grandma was one of my best friends, she took a piece of my heart with her when she died and I miss her a lot. Today was her birthday and it felt so weird and sad that I didn't have to buy her anything. A strange thing that happened when she died was that a little musical lamb that played Jesus Loves Me stopped working. We had been playing it over and over for her and once she died the music stopped playing and it hasnt worked since. My dad said she took the music with her. Sorry this was so long I guess I got carried away. All I have left to say if to those of who still have your grandparents, treasure them always, because you never know what will happen.